A is for Attachment

My new series - 'The Why Behind the What' - brings you a quick, weekly, alphabetised overview of what our training can offer you.

And you've caught me right at the beginning - lucky you! 

Today's letter is... A (for Attachment)

Some children form attachments early in life as a survival mechanism - but when those early relationships are inconsistent, neglectful, or traumatic, the effects often show up in the classroom.

Pupils with insecure attachment styles may find it harder to trust adults, regulate emotions, or build positive peer relationships - so it's important that you feel equipped to recognise these patterns and respond in a way that fosters safety, predictability, and connection.

There are different types of insecure attachment styles, each with different techniques of supporting a child with attachment difficulties. Some support techniques include:

• Offering a comfort object

• Giving them class responsibilities

• Plans and calendars

• Reassurance

Avoid Power Struggles – Use Co-Regulation Instead

Children with attachment difficulties often struggle with control and trust. Their early experiences may have taught them that adults are unpredictable or even unsafe, so when they feel anxious, overwhelmed, or threatened, their response might be to resist authority - sometimes aggressively or by shutting down entirely.

In these moments, it’s easy for a situation to escalate into a power struggle. But rather than reacting with firm control or punitive consequences, effective support comes through co-regulation - the process of helping a child regulate their emotions by modelling calm, connected behaviour.

What co-regulation looks like in practice:

Lower your tone and body language.

Get down to their level, soften your posture, and speak slowly. This signals safety.

Acknowledge the feeling first.

“It looks like you're really upset right now - I’m here to help.”

Offer choice and agency.

“Would you like to move to the calm corner or sit near me for a bit?” Small, safe choices will help restore a sense of control.

Use short, clear language.

Avoid long explanations in the heat of the moment - save those for when the child is regulated again.

Focus on connection before correction.

Once the child is calm, you can revisit what happened and help them reflect.

What Might You Be Missing About Attachment?

Our inclusive Attachment course gives your entire team - whether in primary, secondary or SEND settings - the tools to confidently support children with attachment-related needs and create emotionally secure learning environments.

Learn more about Attachment

Led by expert trainers who have advised Local Authorities across the UK, this practical training goes beyond theory. Staff will:

• Recognise the signs and behaviours linked to attachment difficulties

• Understand how trauma, neglect and early experiences impact children in the classroom

• Apply proven strategies that build trust, reduce anxiety, and improve behaviour and engagement

Whether you’re supporting one child or reviewing your whole-school approach, this course helps your team respond with clarity, consistency, and care.

If you're interested in taking our Attachment course, get in touch using the button below!

Enjoy the rest of your week, and keep an eye out for the next issue of 'The Why Behind the What'.

Next week - Behaviour that Challenges.